The time has come for SUPERHEROES!
Howdy Folks! It's MOI, Pizzawoman! Delivering Pies from the Skies, lickety-split!
(well maybe I shouldn't use THAT turn of phrase...), getting your din-dins to you and yours
INAFLASH! Nice and HOT and TASTY and SuperDuperFast! That's ME! Your friendly, neighbourhood Superhero!
Friend of kids with big shiny eyes, jumping up and down at the door and shouting,
"It's PIZZAWOMAN!"
Pizza's here!
Friend of adults who are hurried, scurried, flurried, and oh so grateful that Pizza's here!
Friend of all good dogs and cats everywhere. They know. They can HEAR well in advance when Pizzawoman arrives. They bark excitedly, or purr around the door, letting the family know that PIZZAWOMAN has arrived!
Friend of all people everywhere, with a growling in
their stomachs and a friendly smile to share!
Don't forget to TIP your Superhero, folks! She can give a BETTER service when she's a little better oiled, if you get my drift!
Young men, sorry boys... the younger gals just haven't reached Superhero status, pretty though they may be. That doesn't mean you should forego the tip!
Be Kind to your friendly, neighborhood Pizzawoman, particularly if she has SILVER STREAKS in her HAIR!
Now I must FLY.... got lotza pizza to distribute, far and wide! Check in regularly for The Adventures of Pizza Woman!
Toodle-Pip folks! Up, up, and AWAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!
posted by Sue-Lynn MB @ 7:59 AM
4 Comments:
At 7/14/2006 6:27 AM,
Sue-Lynn MB said…
You had to get it YOURSELVES?? Now THAT's not FAIR! If I were in your vicinity, Julie darlin, I would DROP it in in a FLASH!! The "tip heavily" sounds just GREAT, but for YOU, darlin, I would do it for FREE!!! Heheheh!
As far as what the young man was waiting for is concerned, my hubby tells me that you see EVERYTHING THERE IS TO SEE in the world doing this job! Not sure if I can't wait or if I can't wait!! (if you know what I mean!) Shiverrrrrrrr! LOLOL!
LOL, Julie, I LOVE your approach! Bugs and bird droppings... who would even be able to TELL on a pizza! ROFLMAO! You are TOO funny! Maybe that's one to keep in my arsenal! Feelings of satisfaction seem harder to come by these days! LOL!
You're a darlin, Julie! I love to see your little Po arrive! Always improves my day! Have a GOOD week and weekend, girlfriend! Lotsa love and hugs to you!
At 7/14/2006 6:43 AM,
Sue-Lynn MB said…
The second adventure of Pizzawoman begins with a buzzzzz. The fearful buzz of MOSQUITOES that is! NOT ONLY are there hordes of nasty little bloodsuckers, but there resides within them the possibility of WEST NILE VIRUS!!
Guess WHO needed to take the run furthest from the STORE? Yours Truly, PIZZAWOMAN! The place? Out THERE, past the creek, past the long grasses, past the BOTANICAL GARDENS!
PIZZAWOMAN ZIPPED along, enjoying the scenery. New houses! How pretty. Greenery. A creek WITH WATER IN IT due to recent rains (thank goodness). Long grasses, flowers and birds! Oh how pretty. Pizzawoman had not been this way before. The house was not difficult to locate! It's brand new and not many houses nearby. A new residential area folks, right alongside the Oso Bay area and nature refuge... neighbours of the botanical gardens! HOW LOVELY. Nice big house too. Armed with two 2L bottles of soda and a batchful of pizza and sides, I rang the doorbell. Lots of children ran to the door and pressed their noses excitedly against the glass! THE PIZZA has arrived. As many children as there were inside, multiply by about 1,000 to calculate the number of mosquitoes OUTSIDE! With MOI! Omigosh! Pizzawoman had forgotten to put on her invisible shield.... MOZZIE SPRAY!
Now, ladies and gents, it is actually impossible to SWAT mozzies when your arms are full! The door did not open. The kids were trying to talk to me through the glass. I could make out... "Daddy," and "money" and I waited, doing the "Pizzawoman being driven mad" by mosquitoes dance!! I have an idea it's not TOO different from the Tarantella!
After QUITE some time dancing with the pests, Daddy arrived at the door! Now folks, I immediately handed over the drinks so I could free my hand to do the money transaction (apart from the necessary swatting). Daddy PALED at the sight of the mosquitoe horde and thrust the dollars into my hand. As fast as I could, I thrust the piping hot pizza and sides into his hands, with the children's eyes dancing and glittering. Yours truly, Pizzawoman was told to "Keep the change," (I am sure he felt quite quilty at having left me outdoors for the while that he looked for his money,) and I swooped off to the car as fast as humanly possible, the front door closing like a whipper snapper in a vain attempt to dispel the mosquitoes!
I lurched toward my car like a drunken fool, trying to dodge those starving little bloodsuckers, opened the door and grabbed the bottle of INVISIBLE SHIELD! I began spraying like a fiend! Cough, splutter. Do I spray my face too??? Then I got back into my vehicle, with about 100 little varmints! Aaarrrggghh!
Taking my cape, I swatted around inside like a mad thing, but those sneaky little buggers knew where to hide! Finally I got back to the store, only to load up for my NEXT adventure! Summer rains have come to strike DREAD in the hearts of intrepid pizza deliverers, as they KNOW they must stand outside the door, while the pesky blighters try to SUCK THEIR BLOOD!
Moral of the story: Spray on your invisible shield BEFORE you do the job!!!!
At 7/14/2006 8:31 PM,
Sue-Lynn MB said…
Thanx for the warning, Julie, you're a real honey! You have a Brave Dad to plow headfirst into Mozzie Headquarters! Phew, those noisy little blighters know a toughie when they see one and better for THEM to steer clear!
Now a FLAMETHROWER... THAT's a PERFECT accessory for Pizzawoman, right? Excellent suggestion, Julie, KEEP THAT PIZZA PIPING HOT! LOL! Can I have mine in PINK? LOL!
Thanx for the what-to-eat-to-not-be-too-sweet suggestion! Bless your heart!
Well tonight started with a bang and ended with a fizzle!! What stands out in my mind are three very different scenarios. The first was a delivery to a woman with a bottle of Frappuccino in her hand and three "littlies" at the door! Their eyes were WIDE and they wanted their PIZZA! Mom told me that it was a BIRTHDAY! Woohoo! Which one of the littlies was the birthday person, I asked. The middle-sized little girl with pretty blonde curls and big blue eyes was the birthday girl. I wished her a Very Happy Birthday and a LOVELY Pizza Party! Mom commented that she should have put her drink down. I asked, "Is that Mocha?" "No," she replied, "it's Caramel!" "Caramel?? That must be NEW!" "Yes, it is," she said. I remarked that Mocha was my favourite and she said that it was sold out, to which I replied, "Yes, it usually IS!" That lady gave me a nice tip, and I left feeling like we all had a warm glow from the exchange.
The second situation was not that pleasant. Better part of town and a LOVELY house. No number visible, but judging from the surrounding houses, I guessed that it must be the house I needed to deliver to. It took a while for the door to open. A woman stood in the doorway looking aggrieved. her arm was in a sling. I said that I would need to check the driver's licence as she had written a check. She looked annoyed and told me that the number was ON the check. "Oh," said I in a surprised way. I had not seen that before. She told me that she was in some pain. "Do I still need to find my driver's licence?" she asked in a clipped tone. "No, that will be alright," I said. "I hope you feel better soon, and enjoy the pizza." Her expression softened for just an instant, but I had already turned to depart and dance around the mosquitoes hovering and ready to bite! I only noticed, when in the car, that the check had been made out a penny short! Needless to say, there was NO gratuity.
The very next delivery, I had been warned, was to a customer who had spoken about a "special coupon" and about which the store had no knowledge. I was told that if the customer did NOT produce the coupon, I was to make sure I got the FULL amount for the "discounted pizza." I arrived at another lovely big home, across the road from the one I had delivered to the previous week, when I arrived in 17 minutes, and before the homeowner got back home!! I waited a few minutes at the door and was about to leave, when he zoomed in apologetically, commenting that he had not expected SUCH A FAST DELIVERY! I said, "We aim to please!"
When I arrived at the house, the man had the check in hand. I asked for the coupon and steeled myself. His wife came up behind him and had the flyer in hand, showing me the discount deal. I asked if they would be kind enough to let me take the flyer back to the store so the store could see what the special deals were. At that moment, a BEAUTIFUL marmalade cat appeared at the glass pane beside the door. He had gorgeous hazel eyes. I exclaimed, "Oh what a BEAUTIFUL cat! Cats are my FAVOURITE!" The woman instantly melted. She said that he was a friendly animal. I told her that I had had Burmese cats which were VERY doglike. She told me that her cat was doglike too. I told her about my adoption of Mr. Hobbes. We felt like old friends. She entreated me to be careful and stay safe! I suggested she get inside and out of range of the bloodthirsting mozzies! Her husband had long since disappeared inside the house, with the pizza. They were kind enough to tip me too! I think I made a friend this day. Sometimes one just senses a kindred spirit! She also had eyes almost the same colour as those of her Marmalade cat, called Gator!
At 7/20/2006 11:10 AM,
Sue-Lynn MB said…
You gals are just DA BEST! You keep me laughing and keep me zipping!! Does that sound right??
Julie, I would just LOVE to deliver pizza to you in my blue tights and pink cape! LOL.. However, I would FLY in and you would get as much pizza as you could eat for FREEEEE! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! Free Peeza from the Big Pink Pee! LOL! Uh oh, the mind boggles a little!!!!
Puggi, thanx darling! I would LOVE to deliver to you too! Imagine all those ‘lil doggi faces pushing at the screen door, eyes shiny, tails wiggling, mouths panting and drooling and barking…. I LOVE animals (as long as they don’t want a Piece of ME!) Hehehe! Woohoooo…. SIX DOGS…. Waytogo girl!!
LOLOL Catnappin! Crispy creepy guys! Woohooo! I am laughing my SOX off as we SPEAK! Hhehehehe! I second the thought about those who don’t tip having cold soggy pizza! LOL! Maybe they don’t tip because they have cold soggy lives??? LOL! Seriously though, folks, I do know that there are people who just don’t have the extra cash or can’t afford to tip…. Well, perhaps they shouldn’t be ordering pizza?? Shrug! I guess they’re the only ones who REALLY know! LOL!
ROFLMAO Nappin…. I COULD EASILY “accidentally” drop a pizza into a mosquito-infested bog around here… it’s raining again… and guess WHO’S delivering pizza TONIGHT???? HAHA!
LOL, Catwoman, your “Rock On,” made me think of the Karate Kid! Rock on, Rock off…. Rock On…. Rock Off! LOLOL! I know …. I’m weird!! Hehehe… oodle pip!
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